This just in from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Shaquille O' Neal is having a pretty good day. For game two, Pacers coach Larry Bird is thinking about using the "McDonald's French Fry" defense that worked so well on Grant Hill.

Pacers guard Reggie Miller, playing in his home state of California, was just awful in this game. Of course, in Hollywood, hitting once out of every sixteen times will still get you a three-picture deal. To help me visualize what happened to Reggie in Tinseltown, I started shouting out the name of a Demi Moore movie every time he took a shot. (The Scarlet Letter! Striptease! The Juror! GI Jane! Passion of Mind!) Turns out Demi came up with a winner about as often as Reggie.

In baseball, where interleague play gives us great natural rivalries like Texas against Los Angeles, the Chicago Cubs are a team in turmoil. With Sammy Sosa and Don Baylor at odds, the Windy City will have to do whatever's necessary to keep the peace. With the Blackhawks, Bulls, and Bears playing the way they have been, Chicago fans don't care if they have to bring in Jimmy Carter to negotiate the settlement. Sosa says "Try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong." Baylor says "Try to see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long." We can work it out.

Meanwhile, Braves reliever John Rocker was demoted to the minors this week after threatening a Sports Illustrated writer. Rocker supporters pointing out that at least now he was picking on a white guy didn't help. And now, Rocker hasn't decided if he'll report to the minors, telling an Atlanta radio station that he'd like to get into a business that's not so stressful, such as becoming a stock broker. Yeah, that's a nice stress-free job, eh? On a larger issue, who's gonna turn their money over to Rocker and hope for a nice return on their investment? What, is the Klan looking to diversify their portfolio? Is Mark Fuhrman wanting to play the market? Of course, John Rocker is a white guy, and therefore he's good at handling money, or at least that's what Reggie White thinks.

In the NFL, Niners quarterback Steve Young is reportedly set to retire. Is this for the best? How many concussions is too many? Of course, it seems like we ask this question of Young every time he takes a shot to the head, and every time he comes back with the same answer. "Thursday."

Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis proved there's always a way to beat the coverage, turning his murder charge into a misdemeanor faster than you can say "Oh, THAT knife." Lewis testified against his two friends in exchange for leniency. I can't believe he'd sell out AC and Kato like that, can you?

Labels: Lakers, Pacers, Ravens