Congratulations to Lance Armstrong on his Tour de France victory. This marks his third consecutive victory, and also marks the last time we'll see a bicycle used correctly on ESPN until next year's race. Which is more "extreme", flipping a bike upside down off a ramp while wearing enough piercings to work part-time as a jewelry rack at Gadzooks, or winning three straight 2100-mile races after cancer treatments? You make the call.

Deion Sanders announced his retirement this week, from whichever sports he happens to currently be playing. Sanders retired from the NFL and was then cut by his triple-A baseball club. It is a sad day for sports, unlike when he retired from his music career.

The "Ripken Farewell Tour" continued this week, as Cal Ripken played his last game at the Ballpark in Arlington against the Texas Rangers. The Rangers then enclosed the locker Ripken used in glass, building a shrine to him with his uniform and other equipment. Is this not a little bit ridiculous? Will teams cordon off urinals and showers, and auction off his used ankle-wrap on eBay? Meanwhile, one of the greatest hitters of all time is retiring, and nobody seems to make a big deal out of Tony Gwynn's last year. At least have the candy machine outside the locker room bronzed or something, guys. There's two Hall of Famers riding off into the sunset. Don't make Gwynn into a historical footnote like he's a vice president or something.

And speaking of future Hall of Famers, Ricky Henderson continues to make friends on the way to Cooperstown, with Milwaukee Brewers manager Davey Lopes openly threatening to bean Henderson if he tried to steal again after taking second with a seven run lead. Expect the commissioner's office to step in and fine Lopes for his actions. League rules clearly state you can't instruct a pitcher to hit Henderson unless he mentions Lou Brock again.

Three questions that strike fear into the heart of an athlete: 1) "So, you ever been to the Gold Club?" 2) "Do you think Tony Banks can get this team into the playoffs?" 3) "Hey, can you give Mr. Tyson a ride home from the party?" Hey, whatever I was saying about Fred McGriff, never mind. McGriff finally decided this week to accept the trade to Chicago that was made almost three weeks ago. McGriff took longer to make his travel plans than Derek Jeter takes to pick out a suit.

The American Olympic hockey team was named this past week. For the 2002 games, Team USA is looking for players with different qualifications to avoid another embarrassing showing like the team from Nagano in 1998. They're looking for players who can play both ends of the ice, who are strong leaders, and who can pass a credit check and put up a hotel room security deposit.

Labels: MLB, Tour De France