In baseball news this week, the Seattle Mariners, who are more than fifty games over .500, received official permission from Major League Baseball to start selling postseason tickets. In other news, the New York Yankees have received permission from Major League Baseball to start planning their victory parade.

Former L.A. Xtreme and current Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Damon Gibson was quoted this week as saying XFL officials have told their players they'll have to buy their own championship rings. I guess that makes it official, everyone wants to forget the XFL. League management had the same long-term commitment to quality that you normally see from sweatshop owners.

Cleveland Browns defensive back Corey Fuller allegedly tried to bribe a police officer this past week after Fuller pulled into a Cleveland intersection and refused to move until the officers let him turn the way he wanted. Reports claim Fuller blocked traffic for about eight minutes, and refused several requests to move. Because of the bribery charge, this case has been turned over to the police department's intelligence unit, where they will certainly return a finding of "none here whatsoever."

The Tony Banks era in Dallas lasted exactly two preseason games, as the Cowboys cut him last week. Cowboys fans may astutely point out it only took the Cowboys a few weeks to determine what it took Baltimore half a season to learn. Of course, the Redskins haven't learned the lesson yet. How does the old parable go? "I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who signed Tony Banks."

True story from this week. Vanity Fair magazine has a scathing tell-all story on baseball's hit king Pete Rose, while ESPN Sports Center interviewed "Hollywood heart throb" Freddie Prinze Jr. The lines of power have shifted, folks. Next week, expect to see Julia Roberts profiled in Sports Illustrated and Don Zimmer on the cover of Cosmo.

And finally, a sad note from the Fistful this week. It seems as if Philadelphia Flyers General Manager Bobby Clarke and Eric Lindros will finally part ways, thus returning Lindros to the NHL and robbing the Fistful of a reliable punch-line. You know, if Darryl Strawberry ever cleans up and Scott Mitchell loses weight, I'll have nothing left for the column.

Labels: Browns, Cowboys, MLB, NFL, NHL, XFL