As seen on The Sporting News website! Published there December 7, 2002.

Congratulations to the University of Miami on their National Championship season. The last two years have shown us the BCS system works fine, as long as there is only one undefeated team at the end of the season. We need polls, surveys, and computer programmers to tell us this? A survey this inefficient usually comes with government funding. Over the last two years, it seems like we're finally getting momentum for a national playoff series. The thing is, people want the playoff to determine who's the number two team in the nation.

Steve Spurrier Conspiracy Theory #1: Spurrier left the University of Florida because he knew he'd get the Minnesota job after Dennis Green orchestrated his own firing so he could join Destiny's Child.

Steve Spurrier Conspiracy Theory #2: Spurrier left the University of Florida to take over in San Diego, where he will put offensive coordinator Norv Turner out of a job. This is all part of Turner's master plan, however, as Turner then goes to Las Vegas with eleven pals to rob three casinos in one night.

Steve Spurrier Conspiracy Theory #3: Spurrier leaving the University of Florida to go to the NFL is just a ruse to hide his true intentions. Spurrier, Dennis Green, Mike Riley, and George Seifert will be traveling across the country protecting a magic ring from evil forces.

Congratulations to Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, for gift-wrapping the NFL quarterback sack record and handing it to Michael Strahan. With all due respect to Strahan, that sack record couldn't have been more of a set-up if the LAPD was involved. And weren't you a little bit surprised to see Mark Gastineau on the sidelines without a state trooper chained to him?

While the NFL is busy handing out fines for things they deem harmful to football such as touchdown dances and improper socks, can we see some fines levied against Philadelphia and Tampa Bay for that glorified exhibition game they played Sunday night? I understand wanting to play it safe for the playoffs, but I was just a Keanu Reeves sighting away from declaring this match-up a strike game. I actually saw an on-screen graphic that referred to Rod (He Hate Me) Smart's rushing totals in the XFL. This marks the first time I've ever seen a statistic involving the XFL that didn't mention television ratings.

Jim Mora announced in his tearful press conference he was "not going to quit." Hey, when did we let 6-10 coaches make the call on whether or not to continue? Try that one at work, kids. Announce to your boss and anyone else listening that your work has dropped off 25% from last year, but you're not going to quit. Let me know how that works for you, I think I'll just stick to "O'Leary-ing" my resume, thanks.

In the NBA, Kenyon Martin has discovered how to make friends and influence people, eh? Young players have to realize that the NBA rules have a good bit of fluidity to them. There are certain things you can't do to the game's stars. And there are certain things you can only get away with doing to Karl Malone.

In college basketball this week, eleven of the top twenty-five teams in the nation lost. America now officially takes a nap, and sets the snooze for March Madness.

In baseball, David Wells is poised to return to the Yankees. Reportedly all that keeps the deal from being completed is a delay in Wells taking a physical exam. There's no worry about any injuries, rather it's just hard finding someone who doesn't mind seeing David Wells naked.

The Minnesota Twins have taken the bold step of offering a two-year contract to new manager Ron Gardenhire, which for Gardenhire, appears to be a situation as risky as allowing a Backstreet Boy to purchase something on long-term credit. The Twins have also scheduled their spring training games, starting February 27 against the Cincinnati Reds, followed by games against the California Bears, Springfield Isotopes, and Charlie Brown's team.

Labels: CFB, Colts, MLB, NBA, Packers