-- Funny. Sarcastic. Free! --


NFL DRAFT TIMELINES:

2007: Brady Quinn goes into lockdown.

2006: Reggie becomes New Orleans' favorite Bush.

2005: Funny nicknames and falling QBs.

2004: The Great Manning controversy.

2003: The Bengals remain on the clock.
2002: David Carr's biomechanics are questioned.
2001: Ryan Leaf makes Michael Vick a Falcon.
2000: Janikowski, baby.
1999: The Saints give it all for Ricky. Even funnier in retrospect, eh?



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Suddenly...Hope

Best. Story. Ever. And a good example of why men will always be idiots.

Two Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders were arrested after having sex with each other in a barroom bathroom.

This is it, ladies. This is the dream all men share. For every woman who is trying to get her man to pay attention, and stop dreaming those impossible fantasies of free lovin', this is the true-life story that will always sustain us.

-- Every time your man asks you just "how good a friend" your best friend is...
-- Every time you look at the cable bill and think "why the Hell are we paying for Cinemax?"...
-- Every time you hug a friend, and find him staring at you like Beevis...
-- Every time you find him inexplicably watching a WNBA game...

It's because of these two women, and what they represent.

It's the impossible dream, and we fully acknowledge that. That's why it's called a fantasy, ladies. From this point forward, every time you're totally frustrated with our single-mindedness and insistance that somewhere, someplace, at sometime, things like this have happened, we will smile a sly little knowing smile.

All because one time, two drunken cheerleaders had sex with each other in a bar bathroom.

And now, we all have hope.

Hey, nothing wrong with being shallow, as long as you're insightful about it.

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HEADLINES:
Detroit Lions Sue Charles Rogers For Impersonating An NFL Player
Aquaman Indicted For Role In Dogfish-Fighting Ring
Immigration Reform Bill Derails NFL Europe
Alex Rodriguez Plans To Leave New York, Purchase Canada
Daunte Culpepper Drops Daunte Culpepper From His Fantasy Team
NCAA To Investigate Claims Reggie Bush Given House, Car, Ambassadorship

SUPER BOWL
TIMELINES
:
Super Bowl 40
(Steelers vs Seahawks)
Super Bowl 39
(Pats vs Eagles)
Super Bowl 38
(Pats vs Panthers)
Super Bowl 37
(Bucs vs Raiders)
Super Bowl 36
(Pats vs Rams)
Super Bowl 35
(Ravens vs Giants)
 

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