Okay, one day after the mess began with Terrell Owens, I think I've been able to piece together what happened.

Distraught over his non-inclusion in the second season of "Dancing With The Stars", Terrell Owens decided to rehab his broken finger by taking his pain medication, along with an entire bottle of "Miracle Gro" plant food. His agent saw him collapse under the strain of the medication, and the weight of his own ego, and immediately began to calculate the total worth of his contract and called 911. The Dallas media showed up, began to interview each other, and speculated that Owens must have been trying to kill himself, since TO must hate TO the same way the media hates TO. During this time, ESPN reported that Terrell Owens has committed suicide, and quoted him as "dying for our sins." TO went to the hospital, where he made a brief guest-appearance on "Grey's Anatomy" and checked himself out. The entire event was so jarring, Cowboys coach Bill Parcells mentioned Owens by name for the first time, and TO actually showed up for practice.

TO's status for this week's game at Tennessee has been upgraded from "Suicidal" to "Probable".

Labels: Cowboys, NFL, TO