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NFL DRAFT TIMELINES:

2007: Brady Quinn goes into lockdown.

2006: Reggie becomes New Orleans' favorite Bush.

2005: Funny nicknames and falling QBs.

2004: The Great Manning controversy.
2003: The Bengals remain on the clock.
2002: David Carr's biomechanics are questioned.
2001: Ryan Leaf makes Michael Vick a Falcon.
2000: Janikowski, baby.
1999: The Saints give it all for Ricky. Even funnier in retrospect, eh?

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Some People Call Me Maurice

One-time pain in the NFL's backside Maurice Clarett was arrested yesterday, after cops tasered and pepper sprayed him. Clarett is obviously not used to people wanting to talk to him anymore.

Officers had to Mace Clarett when they found out he was wearing a bulletproof vest, and he had four loaded guns in his vehicle. The most embarrasing thing for Clarett was the officers had no idea who he was. They thought they were arresting Bobby Brown.

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posted by Reid @ 12:16 AM  0 comments

X Marks The Liver Spot

Dave Mirra is out of the upcoming X Games competition after lacerating his liver during practice. Sadly enough, the trick only earned him a bronze medal in the "Lacerations Stunt" category. Mirra was expected to also medal in the "Speed Plummeting," "High Speed Careening," and "Most Egregious Scab" competitions.

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posted by Reid @ 3:59 PM  0 comments

Bush Leaguer

New Orleans Saints rookie Reggie Bush is finally in training camp. he said it was great to finally get his "feet wet" at practice today.

Attaway to show 'em you're a sensitive guy, Reggie! Nobody in Louisiana could possibly disagree with you wanting to get your feet wet. Hell, if you'd been here a few months ago in the Superdome, you could have gotten your whole body wet.

Why not tell them you can't wait to storm the city, flood the stadium with points, and knock out the power to opposing defenses? Tell 'em you're hungry for wins, you're going to destroy the rest of the division, and you can't wait to tear the house down.

You're already New Orleans' favorite Bush. Don't screw it up.

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posted by Reid @ 7:44 PM  0 comments

The Smell Of Shortstop

New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter now has his own fragrance, "Driven". Jeter was reportedly involved in the development.

"I knew what I wanted. I didn't want it to overtake a room," said Jeter. But if the cologne were to happen to overtake the shortstop position, that would be fine.

The fragrance is a blend of black pepper, chilled grapefruit, rhubarb, tobacco spit, dirt, day-old hot dog, and small fragments of Randy Johnson's mustache.

Not to be outdone, Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez has announced plans for a signature line of air fresheners, called "All Gone Soon!"

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posted by Reid @ 6:45 PM  0 comments

 

HEADLINES:
Detroit Lions Sue Charles Rogers For Impersonating An NFL Player
Aquaman Indicted For Role In Dogfish-Fighting Ring
Immigration Reform Bill Derails NFL Europe
Alex Rodriguez Plans To Leave New York, Purchase Canada
Daunte Culpepper Drops Daunte Culpepper From His Fantasy Team
NCAA To Investigate Claims Reggie Bush Given House, Car, Ambassadorship
SUPER BOWL
TIMELINES:
Super Bowl 40
(Steelers vs Seahawks)
Super Bowl 39
(Pats vs Eagles)
Super Bowl 38
(Pats vs Panthers)
Super Bowl 37
(Bucs vs Raiders)
Super Bowl 36
(Pats vs Rams)
Super Bowl 35
(Ravens vs Giants)
 

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