Reid Kerr's Fistful of Sports

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Reid Kerr's Fistful of Sports is on vacation this week, and will return next week. For those of you who are curious, that's why I haven't raged against Michael Vick this week.

Seriously, though, have the Atlanta Falcons ever done anything right? This franchise is just cursed. Think of this, they've never had back-to-back winning seasons. Never. Never ever. Even when they won the NFC and went to the Super Bowl, they still found a way to pull it out and go 5-11 the next season.

They've had the most exciting man in pro football (and in dog fighting, apparently) for four years, and have somehow managed to parlay that into absolutely nothing, and are winding it up by losing him in a scandal so disgusting, even in the sometimes horrifying nature of the sports world, it is totally unique.

If the Falcons were a movie, they'd be "Major League 2." They'd do the exact same thing that worked last time, and fail horribly at it.

Labels: Falcons, NFL, Vick

Ref Called For Travelling

The wife of gambling NBA ref Tim Donaghy knows when to hold 'em, apparently. She left a note for the media camped out at their house that said "We have no comment. Period. Please do not knock on our door, ring the bell or wave at us as if we intend to give you the comment that may improve your chances of 'moving up on the food chain.'"

Yeah, God forbid she help anyone do better at work who doesn't deserve it. That seems to be her husband's job.

Labels: NBA

Pac-Man Fever

The Tennessee Titans have won an injunction to keep Pac-Man Jones from participating in a TNA Wrestling Pay-Per-View.

Idle question: Why is it the Titans can keep Pac-Man Jones from being in fake fights, but not real ones?

Labels: NFL, Titans, WWE

Why Not Steely Dan?

The Pittsburgh Steelers have a new mascot, a steel-toting square-jawed stubble-bearded iron worker named "Steely McBeam."

Great. There goes another name I was going to use for my adult movie career. The Steelers already used up my first choice, "Fast Willie Parker."

Labels: NFL, Steelers

Christians Throw Vick To Lions

The dog-fightingest NFL quarterback Michael Vick won't be recognized by the Southern Christian Leadership Convention at their convention this week.

I'm a bit confused. Isn't Vick pretty much already a leader, just of dogfighters? If you were going to try and help out the youth of America, wouldn't it be better to bring in their diabolical leader and try and convince him to stop building dogfighting rings?

If you had the chance to save Lex Luthor, don't you think it might wind up helping the whole Legion of Doom?