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NFL DRAFT TIMELINES:

2007: Brady Quinn goes into lockdown.

2006: Reggie becomes New Orleans' favorite Bush.

2005: Funny nicknames and falling QBs.

2004: The Great Manning controversy.

2003: The Bengals remain on the clock.
2002: David Carr's biomechanics are questioned.
2001: Ryan Leaf makes Michael Vick a Falcon.
2000: Janikowski, baby.
1999: The Saints give it all for Ricky. Even funnier in retrospect, eh?



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London Broiled

So the NFL wants to show off its product in foreign markets, and gives London a regular season game between the Giants and the 0-7 Dolphins? I would think that sending a team as bad as the Dolphins overseas would be construed as some kind of terrorist attack. I know that while waiting in line at the airport metal detectors, you're not allowed to say the word "bomb," "explosion," or "Miami Dolphins."

Sending Miami as your representative is like getting a food critic to come to your restaurant, and then serving him peanut butter sandwiches. Except, instead of peanut butter, it's actually just poop.

Then, to make a bad game worse, it poured rain for the entire contest and neither team was ready. Why not? Have they never heard of England? All I know about England is it rains a lot, Benny Hill is funny, and dental care is hard to come by. Looking back on college, I think every book I read during two semesters of English Literature took place in a driving rain. It's not much of a surprise, guys. Pack the long cleats.

World Serious

Man, that sure seems to be one exciting World Series we've got going, eh? I tuned in last night to find the Red Sox had scored 13 runs, 6 goals, 3 touchdowns, and a Yahtzee on the Rockies.

Doesn't exactly seem like an epic struggle. When the biggest threat to a sweep isn't a player, it's snow, it doesn't seem like too much of a nail-biter.

My theory is with the Yankees down, once Boston wins this World Series everyone will notice they're almost as bad as New York in terms of unfair competitive advantage and media bias, and turn on the Red Sox. Any thoughts?

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Viking Funeral

According to ESPN, Vikings quarterback Tarvaris Jackson has a broken finger on his throwing hand. Considering at one point in the third quarter, Jackson had a whopping twelve yards passing, that shouldn't affect his game too much.

This actually might be good for his career. Maybe if his hand is injured, he'll lose that zip on the ball that makes his interceptions so easy to pick out of the air.

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Alex Rodriguez Plans To Leave New York, Purchase Canada
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The Fistful of Sports Web Site is a forum for open discussion on the world of sports, pop culture, and society in general. The opinions expressed on this web site are those of the authors of the respective pieces. As with all humorous writing, please take this site with a grain of salt, and remember to play nice with others. The Fistful is always looking for contributors. For more information, send an email to Reid Kerr. All rights reserved. The Fistful of Sports web site and column are owned and operated by Reid Kerr.