As part of my duties here at the Examiner, every week it falls upon me to sift through the internet chatter and tell you who's going to win this week's NFL games. Of course, for some reason I'm also responsible for taking the trash to the dumpster, refilling the water cooler, and opening Dan Telvock's mail to weed out junk mail and catalogs, for some reason. It stinks being the new guy.

Anyway, here are the picks for Week Three. As always, these are merely the opinions of one man and should not be used as the basis for any financial investment of any kind. Your mileage may vary. If rash develops, discontinue usage.

WEEK THREE:

Cincinnati at NY Giants - Is this a good time to complain about having too many Bengals on my fantasy football team? How many is too many, you ask? One.
Pick: Giants

Tampa Bay at Chicago - I love the way Jon Gruden runs things. "Jeff Garcia is out with an ankle injury." "Hey, I'm not hurt!" "Oh. Then you're out because you suck."
Pick: Bucs

NY Jets at San Diego - Norv Turner couldn't get a big call if he had one of those giant phones from Sharper Image.
Pick: Chargers

Kansas City at Atlanta - Somewhere, someone will have to watch this game. Hopefully, next week we'll have a telethon for them.
Pick: Falcons

Oakland at Buffalo - Al Davis threatens to fire Lane Kiffen, the Raiders win a big game. This week Al is quietly under sedation, so the Raiders don't even bother to bring all of their pads.
Pick: Bills

Carolina at Minnesota - The Vikings have benched Tarvaris Jackson for Gus Frerotte, who hasn't been a starting quarterback since he lost a head-butt fight with Jack Kent Cooke Stadium. Calling Tarvaris Jackson a "quarterback" is like calling a schnauzer a Senator. I don't even think he's aware of the job requirements.
Pick: Panthers

New Orleans at Denver - Look for Mike Shanahan to try and go for two if he wins the coin-flip.
Pick: Broncos

St. Louis at Seattle - Statistically speaking, one of these teams will probably win this game. At this point, I have had as many plays inside the opponent's twenty yard line as the Rams.
Pick: Seahawks

Cleveland at Baltimore - Remember when this was supposed to be a rivalry? Me either.
Pick: Ravens

Miami at New England - New England after Tom Brady is still the Patriots. Unfortunately, Miami after Dan Marino is still the Dolphins.
Pick: Patriots

Other Picks: Tennessee over Houston, Cardinals over Washington, Lions over 49ers, Colts over Jags, Eagles over Jags, and Cowboys over Packers.

Last Week: 11-4, 20-11 overall.

Labels: NFL, Picks