I've made my picks under duress this week, as this year for the first time in my life, I got up early enough and spent my groggy morning hours searching for bargains amongst the maddened throng on Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Full details on the PopCast.

After Thanksgiving, I am 2-1 for the week. For future reference, the Lions are utterly predictable, and the Eagles are not. Anyway, here are the rest of my NFL picks for week thirteen. As always, these are merely the opinions of one man, and these should not be used as the basis for any financial investment of any kind. If rash develops, discontinue usage.

WEEK THIRTEEN (pt. 2)

Miami at St. Louis - When I heard Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter was fined by the NFL for trashtalking, I couldn't help but think of the reason Dutch gave Ronnie for his arrest on the last episode of "The Shield." "The reason? How about the last three years?"
Pick: Dolphins

NY Giants at Washington - If you're expecting jokes about Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg with his own gun, forget it. I'm a professional. I don't do the easy ones.
Pick: Giants

Atlanta at San Diego - The road seems to be clear for Michael Vick to be released from prison, thus allowing his career path to continue along the same arc as Damon Wayans in "The Last Boy Scout."
Pick: Falcons

Kansas City at Oakland - If Larry Johnson is eventually found guilty, his attorneys can use this game as "time served."
Pick: Kansas City

Jacksonville at Houston - When the 4-7 Jags meet the 4-7 Texans on Monday Night, Hank Williams Jr. isn't even ready for that kind of football.
Pick: Texans

Also, I'll take the Jets over Broncos, Vikes over Bears, Steelers over Pats, Colts over Browns, Packers over Panthers, Saints over Bucs, Ravens over Bengals, my beloved Bills over the Niners, Brady Quinn's future over Derek Anderson's, Eli Manning's aim over Plaxico Burress', and the Nintendo Wii over actual exercise.

Thanksgiving: 2-1 (67%) 115-63-1 (64%) overall.