Tiger Woods won the Masters this past Sunday, becoming the first golfer of the modern era to win the Grand Slam. This also officially begins the new era of "Tiger Being Expected to Win Everything." Purists will argue that Tiger's Grand Slam is not a true one, since it didn't occur in a single calendar year. This is like complaining the numbers on your winning lottery ticket are out of order.

The NBA made news last week, with the Dallas Mavericks signing the first-ever Chinese player in the NBA. Fans witnessed history in the making when Wang Zhizhi came in for Dirk Nowitzki, guarded Hanno Mottola, and made the basket that put the Mavs over 100 and gave every fan in attendance a free chalupa. In other words, the Chinese guy subbed for the German, D'ed up the guy from Finland, and won a bunch of Texans some Mexican food. What is this, basketball or "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"

In the NFL, the San Diego Chargers have been on the clock for the first draft pick since last November, and they're now admitting that Virginia Tech quarterback Michael Vick is their man. Vick worked out for San Diego and everyone was thrilled with him. Bear in mind, of course, that San Diego has no basis of comparison when it comes to quarterback talent, since they haven't had a regular signal-caller since they dragged Stan Humphries off the field for the last time.

Carl Pickens signed with Dallas this week after rejecting their first offer and saying he wanted to hear from some other teams ("You have...zero...messages"). This gives Dallas a good three-receiver tandem for next year. In a related story, Troy Aikman has finally realized the ringing in his ears is from the broadcast networks, and not just in his head for a change.

At a ceremony at the New England Patriots new stadium, a reporter was injured by falling construction equipment. The Patriots seem to be snakebitten, don't they? Forget protecting their players on the field, now the curse is beginning to strike at the support staff. Remember, this is a team who lost a starting running back to a career-ending beach volleyball injury. Working for the Patriots is beginning to be like playing drums for Spinal Tap.

No matter how you look at it, it seems like the Rangers overspent and haven't gotten their money's worth so far this season. Sports fans may wonder here if I'm talking hockey or baseball. Yes.