With so much going on in the world of sports, this week we'll take time to answer some of your questions, including some of the ones we made up. Please remember that Reid Kerr is not a licensed oddsmaker, he is merely a poorly-dressed observer of current events. Please do not place wagers on any information obtained in The Fistful of Sports.

Q: Major League Baseball has seen five managers fired since the start of spring training. Why the turnover?
A: If you believe the owners, they blame revenue sharing, the lack of contraction, violent video games, sunspots, and Napster.

Q: What's the most dangerous chemistry experiment going on right now?
A: It's a tie between the Texas Rangers clubhouse, and the David Lee Roth-Sammy Hagar tour.

Q: Did Bud Selig really say that the early success of the Twins and Expos adds a "very exciting dimension" to the contraction issue?
A: Yes. Unfortunately, that dimension is not "logic."

Q: Why did Padres manager Bruce Bochy get ejected from two games in less than a week?
A: He doesn't want to watch San Diego any more than we do.

Q: Do you believe what Omar Vizquel said about Albert Belle in his autobiography?
A: I can't even believe that Omar Vizquel has a book deal.

Q: The NBA takes two weeks to play a five-game series. Why does it take so long to play the NBA Playoffs?
A: The schedule is designed to allow Shawn Kemp time to transport all of his children to the games.

Q: Did Jerry West really explain taking the Grizzlies job by saying "Retirement was not what I thought it would be"?
A: Yes. Within eighteen months, expect him to say the same thing about professional basketball in Memphis.

Q: Can Karl Malone really play for three more years?
A: No, but it will seem that way.

Q: With a house full of people and the Harlem Globetrotters at the crime scene, will the state have a case against Jayson Williams?
A: Yes. In exchange for testifying against Williams, his houseguests have been promised immunity from prosecution. Also, the Globetrotters have been given immunity from traveling.

Q: What's the best performance by an athlete this year?
A: It's either The Rock in "The Scorpion King," or Patrick Ewing in "The Man Who Wasn't There."

Q: How can Gus Frerotte really compete for a starting quarterback job again?
A: Two words. Jon Kitna.

Q: Who's the most dangerous man in sports?
A: NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick, who was parked for a Winston Cup race and fined for unsafe driving. When a sport sponsored by the people who bring you cancer, emphysema, and coughing up brown divots say you're too dangerous, you're a bad man.

Q: Why don't you ever talk about the Boston Marathon?
A: The what?
Q: The Boston Marathon.
A: Because most people follow coverage of the Boston Marathon with the same kind of partial attention with which they follow beer league bowling scores, Major League Soccer, and ABC's prime time lineup. If you're not directly involved, you couldn't care less. It also doesn't help that except for hosting the race, Americans have very little to do with it. We set up the finish line, then runners from the countries of the world that haven't developed fast foods immediately set about leaving Americans in the dust. Guys who've never had the chance to purchase fried cheese and dip it in ranch dressing take off and leave our star-spangled, "P'ZONE" eating buttocks in the distance. In America, we run for enjoyment. We drive our big Extinctifier SUVs down to the indoor track to jog in our designer running apparel. Meanwhile the rest of the world actually runs to get somewhere. It's like getting into a swimming contest with Aquaman. We do it for fun, he does it for a reason.

Q: Is there any job more open to second-guessing than coach of the Philadelphia Flyers?
A: Yes, P.R. Director for the Catholic Church.

Q: Why does Terrell Owens want to play basketball in the offseason?
A: Cross-training. It gives him another sport in which to complain about not getting the ball enough.

Q: What's the strangest tribute in sports?
A: Easily Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s tribute to TLC singer Lisa Lopes. Anyone who can connect the two pre-mortem is probably really good at the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game.

Q: Why don't you write about horse racing?
A: Because I see horse racing as just one more activity I could follow to get myself in trouble with the mob. I also won't make jokes about blackjack, throwing dice, or crossing picket lines.

Q: You rip on Darryl Strawberry a lot. Why don't you like him?
A: Quite the opposite, I love Darryl. As a sports humor writer, Strawberry is my MVP, barely edging out Mike Tyson, the XFL, and the Cincinnati Bengals.

Q: Speaking of Iron Mike, any predictions on the Tyson-Lewis fight?
A: Yes, there will be a controversial finish and a rematch at the same Pay-Per-View price within eight months. Between the two fights, no fewer than four women will try to press charges against Tyson.

Q: Who would you rather see walk into a bar, Mike Tyson or Robert Blake?
A: Pass.